Housing First Dual Diagnosis Team Blog - Self-Harm Awareness
By the Housing First Dual Diagnosis Team
Self-harm is not just attention seeking behaviour
Self-harm is when you hurt yourself and the purpose is to relieve feelings of distress. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with. It’s usually some form of “self-punishment”.
Self-harm is very common and affects more people than you might think.
This means that it’s likely that at least two young people in every secondary school classroom have self-harmed at some time in their life.
Research by the Samaritans suggests that 1 in 4 young women and 1 in 10 young men have self-harmed at some point in their life. Self-harm rates have also risen fastest among young people since 2000.
Even before the pandemic, people who self-harmed struggled to access support – with only 38% receiving medical and/or psychological support.
Why Do People Self-Harm?
There are many reasons why people self-harm.
As a mental health Nurse, throughout the years I have known many people who have self-harmed. Some when they were younger, some in their teenage years and some moving on into adulthood. Some people have managed to find more positive ways to cope whilst others may have started to use substances such as drugs or alcohol to try and manage their emotions.
We might self-harm because we have learnt that to be accepted or loved we must be ‘perfect’. When we don’t live up to this ‘perfect’ image we can feel like a ‘failure’. The constant guilt, or worry about disappointing people, can make us feel like we need to punish ourselves for not being ‘good enough’. With the right support, you can stop feeling this way, and learn to love yourself for who you are.
We might self-harm because we are angry and upset about being treated badly. If we are treated in a way that makes us feel invisible, unimportant, or unloved, it can make us feel like there is something wrong with us.
Things can happen in life that can leave us feeling overwhelmed, angry, and hurt. Instead of finding ways to express those feelings to the world, we start to take this pain and anger out on ourselves.
Some people I have worked with have struggled with significant traumatic events in their life. Family problems, abuse, bullying, low self-esteem, low confidence, issues with body image, loneliness or feelings of guilt, failure, or being unloved. The list is not exhaustive and there are many reasons people will, and do, self-harm.
During the Covid pandemic there has been a significant increase in social isolation for everyone. This is linked to an increase on mental health problems for people of all ages.
Get Help - Reach Out!
Speaking out to someone is the first step in getting help you need and from my experience this is usually a very positive experience and a step towards recovery.
I have had people call me to talk about how they have been feeling and wanting to self-harm. After speaking to someone they feel they can trust it has helped them to talk through these urges and they have managed to find other positive ways to manage their negative thoughts and feelings.
It’s understandable for people to be worried no one will understand them, or that people might judge them, but there are lots of trained people who do understand and really care.
It’s important for people who self-harm to reach out to someone. This could be someone they feel safe with, and who they feel most comfortable communicating with, whether it’s face to face, over the phone, by text or email.
We all need help sometimes; it doesn’t make people weak - in fact reaching out takes bravery and strength. There are lots of trained people who do understand and care. That’s because they speak to thousands of people who are going through similar issues.
Talking to your GP is a good first step and your GP can help with assessment and getting you the treatment that is right for you. You might be offered counselling or talking therapy, where you can talk with a trained mental health professional about what you are feeling and ways you can cope.
Keeping yourself safe
It is important to keep yourself safe to prevent serious self-injury. If you have seriously harmed yourself- for example, by taking an overdose - or you are about to harm yourself call 999 for an Ambulance or go straight to A&E. If you are unable to do this yourself ask someone else to call 999 or take you to A&E.
Sometimes it can take time to find new ways to cope, and that’s normal. In the meantime, think about other things you can do in the moment when you feel the urge to self-harm building. You could try:
- Go for a walk
- Listening to music and distract yourself and dance along
- Text a friend
- Write down your thoughts
- Focus on your breathing or practice some mindfulness.
One of the things I have found very helpful is making a self soothe box.
This includes objects that ground you and make you feel more relaxed and may reduce some of the symptoms you may be experiencing.
You can add a range of sensory items and something to focus your mind on. You could include something to smell, something to touch, something to listen to, something to look at and maybe even something to taste.
This could include Playdough, fidget cubes or spinners, and stress balls easy to put force into and relieve some stress. It can encourage your muscles to relax, which is what many methods to reduce anxiety.
Maybe keep a few photos of people or places that have positive memories, if you don’t have pictures, you could keep a nostalgic item that encourages a similar thought process.
Creating self sooth boxes have been helpful with some people as it’s a nice way to remind yourself how far you have come and how far you can go.
Having some nice soothing smells such as peppermint for grounding, and lavender or rose for relaxation and tranquillity is useful. Candles and room spray also can work. By keeping the fragrance simple you can associate this scent with relaxing, which increases its effectiveness.
I find that music can have a positive effect on my emotional wellbeing. I listen to music that is calming and has a solid beat which helps me to breath more slowly and steadily. Slowing your breathing to a steady pace can help you relax if you are feeling stressed. Alternatively keeping some earphones and making an easy-to-access, calming playlist on your phone is equally as effective.
Calming cards with relaxation techniques can help you to feel calm and positive affirmation cards are also helpful to read out loud with particular strong emotions. Colouring books can help calm the mind and offer distraction.
It is important to be open and honest with professionals or friends that you confide in. This can help reduce the risk associated with self-harming behaviour.
Please remember, professionals are here to help and listen, not to judge you.
You are not alone and here are some services who can help and support you and without judging you.
- Samaritans. 24/7. 116 123 . www.samaritans.org jo@samaritans.org
- (CALM) Campaign Against Living Miserably (5pm – Midnight) 0800 58 58 58. www.calmzone.net
- Shout text service (24/7): You can text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258. www.giveusashout.org/
- CASS (Confidential Anonymous Self injury Support) Women’s Self Injury Helpline (Mon – Fri 7pm - 10pm, Thurs 3pm – 6pm 0808 800 8088
- SOS silence of suicide- for everyone call 0300 1020 505
- Sane Line (4:30pm – 10:30pm) - 0300 304 7000. www.sane.org.uk
- Young Minds Text line – text 85258.
Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis. - Papyrus - people under 35 call 0800 068 41 41
- Childline - 0800 1111 If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small. www.childline.org.uk
- MeeToo - A free app for teenagers (11+) providing resources and a fully-moderated community where you can share your problems, get support and help other people too.
- Calmharm.co.uk - download a free app
